Words of a young widow.


Heads up, there are some graphic descriptions ahead.  Yesterday I visited James’ grave for the first time since the day we buried him there last fall, three days before my birthday.  Maybe that makes me seem like a bad wife, or a bad widow, or even a bad person. Maybe you think I should have…

The Night that Pain Won

This is hard. Talking about marriage, PTSD, pain, mental illness, and my real true life, is really hard. The events of the last few months have been transformational for me as I’ve come to learn that my story is, unfortunately, not unique. I have heard from friends and acquaintances and women I have never met,…

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7 thoughts on “

  1. Emalyn, your expression of sorrow in the aftermath of losing James is very sad to read, enlightening and eloquent. I didn’t know James, though I’ve known John, Alison and Feef for a long time. I must say, I wouldn’t presume to know what you are experiencing. For selfish reasons, a portion of your blog stood out to me: “… my toddlers now had front row seats to a bona fide tragedy, had just barely started to dawn on me in that moment, and it was unbearable.” I lost a brother from a hit-and-run car accident when I was ten. Tragic, yet different from your own and your children’s reality. Reflecting on my mother’s ability to cope, she struggled with great difficulty, yet persevered. I can only offer this to you; her painful wounds were maintained by her faith and love of family. We went through many challenges as a family, finding a common thread through Christ. May the life of James, your life and your children’s be renewed over and over by blessings of love and times of peace, now and always. Jim West


  2. Emalyn,
    My heart hurts for you. Please get a good therapist who can help you. You are putting up a great front but, you yourself have witnessed something horrific. For the sake of your babies, take care of yourself.
    Keeping you in my prayers.


  3. You have no idea who I am. I heard of Jame’s passing thru the grapevine of GR RWB. I, myself, am an Army vet. When a sister or brother in arms passes in such a way, it’s devastating every single time.

    Thank you for sharing your story. You’re not alone.


  4. Emalyn, Your last post hit me so hard when you talked about people saying they can’t imagine what you’re going through. I am an Army wife whose husband has been deployed twice. I’ve dealt with his PTSD for years and, though it’s never been so bad I feared for his life, I can imagine what happened to you. I worried when he was gone and when he was home I worried about what came home with him. My words are inadequate I know. What I’m trying to say is that there are in fact people who can imagine what you’re going through. I feel your sorrow and your anger. I also see your strength. You have already accomplished so much by living through your experience and providing a loving home for your kids. I admire your determination and your openness in sharing your story. Thank you.


  5. Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog centered on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would appreciate your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an email.


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