Author Archives: emalyntwist

Heads up, there are some graphic descriptions ahead.  Yesterday I visited James’ grave for the first time since the day we buried him there last fall, three days before my birthday.  Maybe that makes me seem like a bad wife, or a bad widow, or even a bad person. Maybe you think I should haveContinue reading “Returning”

This is hard. Talking about marriage, PTSD, pain, mental illness, and my real true life, is really hard. The events of the last few months have been transformational for me as I’ve come to learn that my story is, unfortunately, not unique. I have heard from friends and acquaintances and women I have never met,Continue reading “The Night that Pain Won”

I was 19 the first time I held my inconsolable future husband as he recounted just a taste of his experience in war. He had come home from a deployment just a few months earlier, and slowly, the memories and fear and terror were emerging. We were in his Dad and step-mom’s house, upstairs inContinue reading “The Price of the Loyal Wife”

I thought the worst news I would ever have to break to my oldest (five-year-old Charlie), was that we couldn’t go to Chik-fil-a because they are not open on Sundays. This might sound trivial to you, but you try to keep your cool when you’re jonesing for some nuggets and waffle fries on the Lord’sContinue reading “Am I Doing this Right? An Amateur, Unofficial Guide to Grieving with Kids”

We sat in a tiny holding room in the back corner of the Emergency Department waiting for an update from the Doctor in charge. I was so familiar with the Emergency Department because that’s where I spent most of my time at work, ironically “sitting” with suicidal patients who posed a risk to themselves. ItContinue reading “Your Husband is Dead…ish”

Last night, I moved my husband into the laundry room. For nearly the last two months, all of his stuff has been boxed up in my bedroom, our bedroom. His clothes, shoes, books, socks, wallet, had all been haphazardly packed up in the days after his death. One drawer of our dresser was packed fullContinue reading “I Moved my Husband into the Laundry Room”